I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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