very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Damn victory sex feels great
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
