if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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