saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
