; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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