dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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