Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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