"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have fence marks all over my body
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
