Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Fuck appropriateness.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
