Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
