So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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