out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
