My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
it's like iHOP with fire
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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