You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
