return my video game
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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