Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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