I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
