his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
