yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
