did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
