Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
