she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
