You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
