so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
