I cannot find my penis.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......