so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.