I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.