Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
