i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That accounts for only three of the penises
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize