oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
