i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
