You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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