what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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