Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
