Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
