did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
