I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
