The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
