bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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