No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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