Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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