He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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