oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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