That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
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