you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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