he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
