just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
