More tranny stories later!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
