Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
