Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
