White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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