Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
