i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line