When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
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I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier