I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
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he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
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So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love