you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
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I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's blow job season.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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