Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.