you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
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I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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