This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
