Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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