I hate all girls vehemently.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
