Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
