chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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