both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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