Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
