the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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