so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
